Hello Cyns48,

Thanks for writing again.

I would say that some people take what he says too personally. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t call anyone out specifically. I also think that how he behaves online is NOT how he is in “real life”. His videos seem to indicate that. What I think people should remember is that his website is entirely about entertainment even his online persona that he advertises.

As a reader of RealitySteve.com and a website owner myself, I am sympathetic to many of his complaints. I don’t necessarily agree with everything he does or says but I don’t personalize it. Many people also don’t personalize it otherwise he would never have gotten so much in Paypal contributions in between show seasons.

FYI, I have never met Steve personally and I have yet to speak to him but from my limited view, I see multiple sides to him so I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. While I have nothing against Steve, my advocacy of his position has a lot to do with the heavy-handed ways of Hollywood not whether I “love” him or not. Certainly, it doesn’t hurt he has been respectful of me and what I have written about him and his case.

I can’t speak to his character except from what I observe but I do respect his accomplishments and his directness whether people agree with him or not. Based on your responses, what I see of him, and knowing myself, I actually think the 3 of us could be friendly and get along in the same room. I think the interpretation of what is written and communicated online seems to be interpreted vastly differently.

As you can see, I do engage my audience whenever possible (even when they disagree with me) in the comments section which he doesn’t choose to do. I think there is a line of decorum that some people cross. It seems clear he has crossed the line of respect where you are concerned but I would say that line varies greatly from person to person.

If you are truly a “hater”, you got me fooled. You simply strike me as a person who sees things a bit differently which is perfectly okay.

For what it’s worth, I do think Steve has mellowed a bit in the last few weeks. Perhaps, it is a far cry from the humility you are seeking from him but I do think he is changing a bit. I could be wrong but that is my observation. Thanks for commenting again.

Matthew

As I said, I don’t hate Steve. I do resent the fact that he insults the very people paying his bills by coming to his site. I know all about paying it forward, and it may not hurt Steve to do the same. To show a little humility and remorse for the way he talks to some people that ask questions on his blog. It may come as a huge shock to him that a good majority of us are very well educated and simply stating an opinion, just like he does.

Hello Cyns48,

Thanks for writing. (No need to call me Mr. Chan. You can call me Matthew.) I am not sure why you would consider yourself a “hater” because your post to me does not qualify you as being “hateful”. I have certainly not called out any single individual out. You are a little disagreeable with my position but nothing that is so offensive to me. “Hater” is a generic term term used on the Internet who are genuinely ugly and disrespectful. Although you objected to my profanity (which was used for emphasis), you are civil and respectful about it. I appreciate that.

Please understand, there is a difference between differences in opinion and being hateful and disrespectful. For whatever it’s worth, if I had more “haters” like you post on my site, I would have no problems because you don’t sound like a traditional hater.

If you were to read most of my posts, you will find that I rarely use profanity but this topic hit a nerve with me and I chose to be more explicit about it. I don’t write for a Rated-G audience, nor do I overly sanitize my writing. I usually write in a Rated-PG13 style. As a blog owner and writer, I exercise my freedom to communicate directly and openly as I see fit. Some people like it, others may not.

Regarding your thoughts on his “donate” button and his website, I am quite certain Steve doesn’t much care for it either. He credits me for giving him the idea to solicit help through Paypal Contributions and I stand by the idea. I probably would have done it differently than he did because I dislike the word “donate”.

Sometimes in life, you need to ask for help. Fortunately, there are a LOT of people who like him, his website, what he does, and understands the importance of fighting back. Everyone gets to make their own choice. No one is twisting anyone’s arm on financial contributions. Let’s not forget that Steve has repeatedly and publicly thanked the people who have contributed to his cause. Asking publicly for financial help is never an easy thing. But sometimes you need to if you want to serve the greater good.

For what its worth, ELI could not continue to exist in its present form without an influx of funds from a variety of sources some of which includes Paypal Contributions. ELI could not have helped advocate for Steve Carbone and RealitySteve.com if others had not chosen to support ELI. That is how the world goes round. I believe in passing it forward when I can. In my case, I didn’t pass it forward with money. I passed it forward with my time and my writing abilities.

Just so you know, we are NOT on a “crusade”. At most, we are advocating for Steve. That is it. We get nothing out of it except for some additional visibility, thank-you’s, and good will. It is something that I felt strongly about and decided to “donate” a little bit of my time to it.

I am not sure how much legal analysis you have read but this is more than “guilt” or “innocence” issue. Right now, all the time being spent has NOTHING to do with the central issue at hand. It is just a legal meat-grinding exercise designed to wear him down regardless of what he did or did not do.

Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the conversation.

Matthew

I don’t like being referred to as a hater because I post negative but very constructive comments on his blog. I don’t hate Steve personally, I hate what his blog and his donate button have done to a former half-way interesting blog. If he’s found guilty, he’ll stop posting spoilers. If he’s found innocent, he’ll still have a problem getting informers.

Hello smforeman,

Thanks for dropping by again. There is a little bit more work than just the plug-in. There is also some degree of manual intervention and work but it is relatively easy and well worth keeping haters away. I think Steve has taken too lax an attitude about it which has only encouraged more of that type of disrespectful behavior from the haters. He has to want to care about it enough to do something about it.

I know I care about any website that has MY name and photo of it. I won’t let haters, trolls, or spammers ever take over my website. NEVER. It would literally have to be over my dead body. After all, I pay for my websites for others to visit and read. So, I am protective of my websites.

I am glad you are learning from my posts. I do my best to educate (and entertain a tiny bit when possible). I think you can see I don’t believe in textbook writing. I will use Rated-R language if I need to. Whatever it takes to get my points across.

Like you, I hope this all ends. It has been an interesting exercise writing about the Reality Steve lawsuit but I don’t get paid for this. I do it to try to make a difference in this world.

But positive comments like yours does give me extra motivation to write more. Thanks for that.

Matthew

Thank you for your response and sorry it took so long for me to reply. I think you make some very good points and I agree that if all you have to do is add a plug-in to get rid of the negativity, Steve should do it. However, he probably doesn’t know how to do this and probably won’t. But thank you for your response and I am glad you understand that I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. I do think the comments on his blog are awful, but I don’t think Steve is going to do anything about it. I enjoy reading your posts and learning a lot about the lawsuit and I wish you the best of luck with your endeavors. I sure hope this lawsuit ends soon and hopefully Steve will win.

Hello smforeman,

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. First, let me say I do understand where you are coming from. Second, I also understand where Steve is coming from because he has pretty much said what you said. But I would have to say that I respectfully disagree with both of you. Let me explain why.

I have a strong I.T. (information technology) background which I use to my advantage both in business and personal life. I use it to help others when I can. I make it my business to study the use of technology to achieve the results of what I want. I also have a fair understanding of Internet security. That means knowing what software to use and how to use it is a big part of whether you are successful or not. You can have two people use Microsoft Word in completely different ways. Some people use it very simplistically to type a letter. Others, such as those who work in law offices, have the ability to create amazingly sophisticated and impactful legal documents with it. It comes down to the user.

Did you know that the ELI website and RealitySteve.com run on the same underlying software? It is called WordPress. The WordPress platform is used by literally hundreds of thousands of websites around the world. It is the basis of some of the most sophisticated and largest websites in the world because of its ease, flexibility, and cost (free). How I know what RealitySteve.com runs on is because I set up a user account and in the process of registration, I saw he was running on WordPress. Even without that, there are external clues that he was using WordPress.

Without disrespect intended towards Steve, he doesn’t seem overly technical. If he is, it appears to be a well-kept secret. And he certainly doesn’t show his technical side. “Haters” and “spammers” have been around since the Internet became available to the public in the mid-1990’s. There are many ways of fighting off haters and spammers. And unless a hater happens to be a programmer (which I cannot imagine many Reality Steve haters are), they can never truly overcome a well-planned system of screening out spammers and haters.

Did you know that the ELI website gets attacked by spammers 150-200 times per day? And yet, no one knows about it and their efforts are 99.9% wasted. Once in a great while, a lucky hit will get through but it is easy to delete and suspend that account going forward.

Most of Reality Steve haters are people. They are not using automated robots to post their hate. I can promise you, I can “kill” hater accounts far quicker than they can ever set up new accounts. I don’t even have to do it myself. I just have to configure WordPress and add an appropriate plug-in to make it happen. You don’t have to be a programmer to clean out the haters. There is already all kinds of free plug-ins that will do the job but it is something Steve would have to commit to do.

I don’t want to get into a psychological debate of whether “haters” bother Steve or not. I happen to believe that negativity and hate do affect people in subtle ways. I think it makes people more cynical and more irritable and overly skews their views because it overwhelmingly drowns out the good moderate people who mind their own business and avoid conflict. You don’t see me jumping into there because it would be pointless. In any case, I believe in taking care of and reward those who “love” me, not haters. Haters will continue to hate but why would anyone let them do it to your own website that you pay for?

The idea that someone won’t fight back spammers or haters because they will come back is like saying:

1. You are going to get dirty anyway, why take a shower every day?
2. You are going to get bugs in your house anyway, why waste money on pest control or bug spray?
3. Your house is going to get dirty anyway, why dust or vacuum your house?
4. Your car is going to get dirty anyway, why wash your car or clean out your car?
5. A bully is going to insult and attack you anyway, so why bother fighting back since you keep getting abused and picked on?

I could easily give you another 50 examples but I think you get my point. Spammers and haters may continue to hit your website but that doesn’t mean you let them shit all over your website. Would anyone let a stranger come shit on their car, their bedroom, or their house? If not, why would someone let spammers and haters shit on their website that they work on and paid for and is so valuable that it generates money for them?

To me, it is either ignorance (someone didn’t teach or show them), laziness, or plain indifference. For me, I care about “my people”. For example, you disagree with me. That’s ok. You were respectful and I am replying to you. You took the time to reply and I will make the effort to do the same. Now, I understand there comes a point where it is too much to reply to everyone individually but there are ways of acknowledging entire groups of people.

I come from a place where all my websites are an online reflection of me. They are certainly not perfect but I can promise I send out a strong message to spammers and haters. If they want to shit on or talk trash about me, my name, or my work, I can’t stop them from doing so ELSEWHERE on the Internet. But I sure as hell can and will stop it if it is on MY home website.

We choose to have pest control in our own homes. Well, we also have the option to have pest control on our websites. Simply saying that the bugs will be back bigger, badder, and meaner doesn’t mean you say, “I give up. Come in and shit all over my house.”

Having said all that, RealitySteve.com is not my website. The Reality Steve Lawsuit isn’t even my fight. I have done what I can to help Steve with no conditions. He can accept it or he can turn away. Either way, I have no regrets. I stand by my article about how negativity and cancerous haters can be. The haters damage his reputation and cause harm in very subtle and ugly ways that hurt him. He may not see it but I do see the harm.

If Steve doesn’t mind people shitting all over his website simply because it doesn’t bother him or whatever, then I question whether he understands the bigger picture. For me, the “bigger picture” is that as a blogger and website owner you have a duty to take care of “your people” even if it is more work for him.

He got nearly $8,000 in contributions to his legal fund. If that doesn’t prove that he has goodwill and good people on his side, nothing will. That should prove to him that having a solid community without the haters would be even better and stronger so that supporters like yourself can post on his site without some ass insult your for enjoying or supporting his website.

You posted respectfully here but I consider you “my people”. If anyone went after you or anyone else that respectfully posts and comments on my websites, you can believe I will blow them out of the water with no explanation. They can keep coming back and I will keeping stomping on them like the nasty pests they are.

Matthew