The Reality Steve Lawsuit Saga: There Are No Accidents

The recent Reality Steve lawsuit coverage I revived is happening by sheer coincidence in between seasons of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette”. In many ways, I wish this sprung up during a fully cranked up season of one of the “Bachelor” shows. We could reach more people that way and this story could potentially insert itself into the mainstream media. But it happened when it happened for a reason none of us can really fathom at this time.

The “Bachelor” producers started this conflict up for their own petty, fear-based reasons. How can one lone Texas blogger be such a threat to a multi-million dollar Hollywood operation?  It is entirely about their fear, paranoia, and pettiness. If they didn’t fear Carbone, this lawsuit would have never happened. They would have swatted or waved him away like an annoying mosquito.

ABC Network and the “Bachelor” producers may have previously dismissed him but this lawsuit validates the notion that Carbone is way more significant than they ever admitted. The lawsuit validates Carbone’s power and influence in a dramatic way. The fact that he gets more Internet traffic and followers than the “official” Bachelor show pages and accounts is telling. The “official” pages are run by corporate drones that have no clue or personality. They think that if they build it, people will come.  That is so untrue on the Internet.

Hollywood as a whole continues to be fearful of the Internet. They still don’t understand it beyond advertising their shows and throwing money at problems. They hire technically capable people that know how to create pretty websites but have no personality, presence, spirit, or personal expression. They have no clue on creating online communities or developing a readership. People may enjoy the shows but corporate drones don’t have a clue of how to interact with their fan base or cultivate a following.  Successful bloggers do.

Hollywood cannot control people as they once did. As a result, there is fear of the power of one man, one voice, and one blogger.  All this fear and disdain over someone who dares to tell and report the truth about a highly-edited, highly-distorted reality show in an entertaining way.

Some of you might have heard the saying, “There are no accidents.” I have embraced this idea because I find it helpful in my own life.

Let me say upfront that I am not a religious person but I do consider myself a spiritual person. I believe that there is a Higher Power greater than what we can ever see, know, or understand. For people of Christian faith, they call him, God. The American Indians call it “The Great Spirit”. People of Buddhism faith, call him Buddha. There are other equivalents depending on one’s religious/spiritual background and upbringing but hopefully you the spirit (no pun intended) of what I am saying.

This means that circumstances and events don’t happen without a Higher reason.  There are always life lessons to be learned and insights to be gained. We can choose to listen and learn from them when it happens or we can dismiss them and suffer the consequences for not doing so.

Aside from ABC network and the “Bachelor” producers’ motivations for the lawsuit, there are also reasons why this is happening to Carbone.  The naysayers and critics will say that he brought this upon himself and deserves what is happening to him. And they would be correct but NOT for the reasons they think.

The people who have been drawn into the “Reality Steve Lawsuit Saga” are involved for a reason. Certainly, there is a degree of drama involved with watching this unfold.

However, Carbone, out of everyone, has the most at stake. Most of us are simply spectators. He has a lot of personal reflection to do because he is the center of this drama.  He has openly shared that he has experienced a wide range of emotions and this has been building over time.  This is normal for anyone going through the pressure of personal crisis and dramatic change. There is a deeper meaning and a greater life lesson for Carbone. This is a very critical time in his life.

Carbone isn’t “just” a “spoilers” entertainment reporter and commentator. That is what he does now but he is destined to do and accomplish much more in his life. He just doesn’t know what it might be yet. Carbone has not yet stepped into the full potential of his personal power. In many ways, this is a test of his character and resolve. There is far more to Carbone than meets the eye. There is clearly an inner conflict going on within him. You can see it on his face when he does the video blogs.

Carbone has far more power and influence than he truly realizes. There is no way in hell a person can continue garnering the readership he has built without some level of personal power.  Certainly, reporting “spoilers” in 2009 gave him the opportunity to explode into mainstream media. But let us not forget his early years of his email reports before he launched his website.  When he launched his website in 2004, his following grew gradually until he hit a “tipping point” in 2009 when spoilers began “falling into his lap”. It was the culmination and reward for the work he had done years earlier. (I highly recommend people read Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Tipping Point” that discusses the “tipping point” phenomena.)

It took only two years of crossing the “tipping point” that Hollywood felt threatened by the power and influence of Carbone. Carbone now needs to own up this power and learn how to channel it in a way that will overcome this lawsuit. His legal team is one component of this fight. But there are other fronts to fight back on as all of us now know.

As of this writing, a Canadian article and a Squidoo lens have picked up on the revival of the Reality Steve Lawsuit story . This is just the beginning. When the new “Bachelorette” season debuts, traffic to will surge. And so will the awareness of the “Reality Steve Lawsuit Saga”.

Carbone continues to hold back but he has begun to slowly come out by acknowledging the issue more instead of hiding from it. He is asking for help from those who want to help instead of shying away from the help. He is slowly getting the word out of the growing support for his cause.

One thought I am always reminded of is that “Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the ability to overcome fear.” Day by day, it appears that Carbone is exercising his “courage muscle”. The more a person flexes and uses it, the stronger it becomes.

Years ago, I was introduced to Ilya Prigogine’s Theory of Dissipative Structures. It is a physics theory used to analyze and explain complex systems in nature. It is used frequently in studying chemical and biological systems. The theme of pressure and irreversibility of change are important components of the theory.

In simpler terms, the idea is if enough energy and pressure is placed upon a complex system (such as a person and their brain cells), that the system will reorganize itself in such a way that it is irreversible and no longer the same.

As it relates to people and behavior, this is why people who have been through personal trauma and crisis (emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually) become very different people afterwards.  Their brain has been altered. People often become better and stronger for the experience.

This is why most “normal” people are in awe and amazement when handicapped, “disadvantaged”, or underdogs overcome their crushing odds to create strength, achievement, and success in their lives.  These people can’t shy away from the circumstances in their lives. They are forced to live and deal with it. The very energy and pressure they were forced to experience and endure in their lives are the very things that propelled them into achievement, strength, and success.

It will be interesting to watch how Carbone evolves in the weeks to come. As an advocate, I certainly hope he will continue to grow and evolve in an empowering way. But it is entirely his decision how and what he does. Whether he wanted to be part of this new reality show of his readership’s making (remember, I am only one of his readers in all this), “The Reality Steve Lawsuit Saga” is here to stay.





  1. I think he should let loose with all the dirty secrets he is privy too that goes on during the show…lol…I mean for crying out loud everyone who has ever been to the two most popular reality show message boards has heard about Mike Fleiss and his taste in women ….maybe the lawyers should be asking just how many of these women has he had intimate contact with…I say tell it all and sell it to the highest bidder

    • Hi JoAnn,

      It’s funny you mention this. I actually think that Steve could write his version of a “tell all” book. Obviously, his lawsuit is complicating things and there are many issues involved. But for what it is worth, I think your idea is a great one. I might get into it within an upcoming video.

      There are all kinds of “unofficial” books about shows being written and I think Steve is in a great position to do it. I don’t think he has the support system to pull this off right now. Personally, I know how I would do it because I have published well over 20 titles without any help from traditional publishers.

      Maybe one day Steve and I will cross paths in a personal way to have such a discussion. Time will tell.


  2. Hi Matthew,

    I wanted to say a quick hello and let you know that I have found your correspondence regarding the Reality Steve lawsuit very insightful. You continue to make excellent points in your analysis of the lawsuit and I enjoy reading your columns!

    Best Regards,


    • Hi Jenny,

      Thanks for taking the time to say that. It does encourage me to do more. Obviously, I am not getting paid for this and I take time when I can to do it. Admittedly, I am more inclined to do more writing if there are more readers than less.

      So, I unabashedly say that I do appreciate the encouragement. It can get a bit lonely on this end of writing to to a bunch of people I don’t know and will probably never get to meet. But I am happy to say, I am starting to build the beginnings of friendships (or at least friendly acquaintances) along the way.


  3. Hello Mr. Chan,

    I have read every article that you have written about this lawsuit. I have signed the petition but went another step further. As I was reading one of Steve’s email responses, he stated he used to work for Jim Rome. So I sent Jim an email regarding this matter. Maybe he will remember Steve working for him and be interested enough to look into the matter and get the word out on this injustice.

    Thank you for everything you are doing


    • Hi Deb,

      Please don’t call me Mr. Chan. It makes me a bit self-conscious although I appreciate the respect intended. 🙂 Call me Matthew.

      You are one of the reasons why I took the time to advocate for Steve. People like you come up with great ideas that he or I could never have thought about. Until recently, I had no idea of Jim Rome was. He sounds like a big deal with sports broadcasting of which I have no knowledge or connection with.

      Money certainly helps but I think people are beginning to see a lot can be done outside of contributing money to the cause.

      You have read all 17 articles plus the 2 CNN iReport articles so far? Wow, I am impressed. I hope it has been educational for you. I am not the entertainer Steve is but I do have a lot to say. LOL!


      • Hi Matthew, (not Mr. Chan 🙂

        After reading your feedback, I couldn’t help but think of who else I could email that might be interested in this fight. I don’t know if you are familar with Barbie Latza Nadeau. She is a writer for the Daily Beast and from reading her articles I thought this might be right up her alley. So I went ahead and sent her an email too.

        Hopefully both Jim and Barbie will feel the way all of Steve’s fans do.

        Thank you again


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